So as a reply to my own post this problem has been solved for me.
It seems no one ever replys or has a solution to this issue so I will post my own solution for others to follow.
This works for windows 7 64 bit OS, dont know about any other. I did not find the fix on these boards. (if it was posted or linked I must have over looked it.)
https://forum.sector3studios.com/index.php?threads/workaround-if-you-cannot-join-your-own-dedi-server.4672/
open that page and follow the directions, simple as that. Was like magic and everything worked for my server after that.